Feeling Needy? Gifts Are Coming!

So, I have a confession to make. I like to buy things for myself. One of my "love languages" is gifts. But I'm picky--I enjoy most gifts, but I only feel loved by a gift if the giver knows me and gives me something I like. That may sound horrible, but it is how I am.

While washing dishes this evening, I was thinking about two deliveries that are on their way to me, one from JC Penney and the other from Amazon. I was feeling that "Christmas Eve" sense of anticipation at getting my new stuff that I ordered. I followed that thinking with a sort of congratulatory thought of how it doesn't matter that I don't get excited about getting Christmas gifts because I just buy my own stuff. I meet my own needs.

Hmm...maybe you can guess that my next thought, which I feel certain was prompted by the Holy Spirit, was that God is supposed to meet my needs.

Then, I pondered what I've cheated myself out of, what joy or surprise or contentment I stolen from myself by being impatient when I'm needy. I thought, I wonder how different I might be today if I took a breath and counted to ten and then prayed for God to help me with my needs, so I could see if they truly were needs or if they were just wants, or something to stuff into a hole that's developed in me because I'm not wholly committed to Him.

So, now I'm on the hook. God has let me get by with ignoring conviction for too long. That small tug that I've felt has turned into a full-blown call to surrender myself to Him. All of me. Even the part that gets giddy when I hear the UPS truck pull up the road.

And, the funny thing is that, as is usual business in God's ironic, paradoxical way, I'll give this (seemingly) big thing up and I'll receive far more than I can think or imagine in return.

Gee...that makes me feel excited, just thinking about it! :)

Comments

  1. I do the same thing! I actually have felt in years past that I "ruin" my "gift giving days" because I tell people what to get, or get the stuff myself. This year, it was hard for me to tell Adam that I didn't want anything for Christmas, and to just pick out what HE wanted to get me...but I did. I'm excited for both me and you to discover the joy that God gives us through this process!

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