Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Letting Go {Day 21 of 31}

I'm participating in The Nester's Write 31 Days challenge. I haven't written every day and I'm okay with that. Because you have to choose, each day, what is worth stressing over. Not being able to write a blog post each day is not something I'm worried about right now.

My friend, Maria, who blogs at The Joyful Home, wrote a post titled The Shower Curtain, where she talks about loss and letting go of things connected to loss.

It reminded me of my own struggle with letting go.

A little over thirteen years ago, we lost a baby.

While still pregnant, I had been collecting baby clothes. I helped to manage the "swap shop" at our church, so I had direct access to all the new things coming in.  Before long, I had amassed four, large storage tubs full of baby clothes.

I justified my hoard by telling myself we needed them. They were boy clothes. (We already had a baby girl.)

Meanwhile, everywhere I went, someone was very pregnant. And all my friends who were having babies, were having boys.

Every time one was born, I felt the Lord pressing me to donate the clothes. Every time my husband and I went through them, our agreed upon donate pile was very small. So small that we felt like we shouldn't even bother with it and we ended up putting them back with the others.

One day, I had a heart-wrenching conversation with a dear friend. My clothing hoard came up.

"I know I need to get rid of them," I said, matter-of-factly.

My friend replied, "I'm glad you said that. Because you do need to get rid of them. All of them. Even those little booties you just picked up."

I sobbed like someone was tearing out my heart. It truly felt like giving up those clothes meant I was giving up the right to more children.

I got off the phone and immediately called my friend who had just had a baby boy. I told her husband that I had some clothes for them, and asked if I could come out right then (because I knew if I didn't go right then, I wouldn't go).

I would love to say that I spent time basking in the presence of the Lord after dropping off the clothes. Rather than glowing from the joy of obedience, I was puffy-eyed and red-faced from sobbing.

But I realized that the clothing had become an idol to me. At some point, my focus shifted from having clothes to put on my (hoped for) baby boy, to needing a baby boy to dress in all these wonderful clothes I had. As painful as it was to give them away, it was a turning point for me in my healing from my miscarriage.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are inany affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God," (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NASB).


Thursday, October 16, 2014

He Loves Us {Day 16 of 31}

He really knows us - deep in the inner parts that we don't show to anyone - and He loves us still.

He loves us
No matter what.

Can't quite wrap my mind around that...



Wednesday, October 15, 2014

He Knows {Day 15 of 31}

I'm praising God today for His knowledge of all things.

Our dog, Daisy, has been limping for three weeks now.

We took her for a walk one morning and she was fine. A few minutes after coming home she limped into the family room holding up her left hind leg, and she's been doing that ever since.

We took her to the vet the next day, and he said it was possibly a pulled muscle. He gave us pain medicine and told us to keep her on leash so she wouldn't run or jump.

Daisy had an appointment for booster shots today, so the vet looked at her leg again. He said she has a cruciate ligament rupture.  And she needs surgery.

While on the way to church tonight, Jeremy Camp's new song, "He Knows," was playing on KLOVE, as I was praying for our dog.

This thought popped into my head, "I know Daisy. I know what's wrong with her leg. I made her."

I believe that was from God, and He was just reminding me that He knows everything. And He is in control.




Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Words {Day 14 of 31}

I love words.

They are so powerful. Able to create worlds, to spark emotions, to build up and to tear down.

Our ability to speak life (or death) is one way we are made in our Creator's image. He spoke the world into being, created life - and all that we know - through the power of His words.

What a privilege!

But it comes with a requirement that I often forget:

We are responsible to edify and glorify and build up each other. Our words should always be seasoned with grace and full of mercy.

One day, we will give an account of every single thing we say to and about someone.  We will be judged by the way we judge others. And most of our judging ways are exercised via our words.

And so, I praise God for Words and their amazing power. And I humbly ask for wisdom to remember that with great power, comes great responsibility.



Monday, October 13, 2014

New Days {Day 13 of 31}

Glad for this month's daily writing challenge from The Nester, whose motto is "It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful." She reminds me that in everything - writing included - there is perfectly imperfect beauty. And that gives me the freedom not to beat myself up for missing some days when I was sick.

I am better, although I am still fighting bronchitis. And the volume of medicine and vitamins I'm taking outweighs my breakfast bowl of cereal.

But I'm glad for today. So thankful to be a day closer to healthy breathing. And getting something done.

That is the beauty of new days. I truly praise God for them.

New days give us a fresh start, help us to mark time away from the pain of yesterday; and after a night of sleep, new days renew our hope. Or at least give us some more energy to face what lies ahead.

 Aren't you glad for new days?


Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Breath {Day 8 of 31}

In pondering my month of daily writing for  5 minutes on praiseworthy topics, which I've turned into topics for thanksgiving, mostly (which is a form of praise, of course), I have thought of many things. Most of them obvious things, like shelter and food and such.

Unfortunately, I usually take things like breathing for granted. But tonight, I'm thinking of my breath. How thankful I am, that my lungs work.

I'm thinking of this because my lungs aren't working the way the should. I'm fighting bronchitis, and I've had to use my inhaler several times today. I'm wheezing and coughing so much that my abdominal muscles are sore. And I may have to sleep sitting up tonight.

But I can still breathe. And how thankful I am for that!


Tuesday, October 7, 2014

No More Pain {Days 6 and 7 of 31}

I am so glad for things to look forward to.

Things like holidays, vacations, special dates, getting gifts, and seeing my children do well at what they do best.

But one of the greatest things that I can't wait for, one thing that I long for, is no more pain.

I'm writing a two-fer today, because I am sick with some kind of flu and I was struggling to breathe last night, let alone to sit and type something.

I have an annoying bit of asthma that makes cold and flu season difficult. The last time I had bronchitis, it was scary how I felt like I was drowning when I would cough. (I've been drinking copious volumes of water to combat that this time.)

I can list many other physical ailments (and heart hurts) that I struggle with (as could you, I am sure), but the wonderful, amazing, praise-worthy news is that we will not suffer forever. One day, there will be no more pain - of any kind!

One of the greatest promises in the Bible is this:

"and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain..." (Revelation 21:4 NASB).

If you are hurting tonight, may this bring you comfort.


Joining with others for five minutes, each day this month. (Or trying to, at least!)
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