10 Habits of Happy Mothers--Habit #4

I'm reading a book called "The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers," by Meg Meeker, M.D., and here is habit #4:

Say No to Competition

Well, if that's not enough, in and of itself, here are some quotes that I think illustrate the point of the whole twenty-three page chapter:

"...when we focus on getting what someone else has, even if it is very small, we aren't able to focus on what we do have. We can't be appreciative or grateful. And we feel constantly empty, not full" (Meeker, page 73).

"Once we feel we are lacking, we begin to dislike who we are, which leaves us even more needy and wanting, and the cycle begins again. Therein lies the trap..." (Meeker, page 74).

"Competition [jealousy, covetousness] stunts the growth of any healthy relationship. And since we need one another, we must get a handle on this" (Meeker, page 75).

Here's her five ways to make this habit (of not being competitive) stick:

1. Recognize jealousy and don't be fooled;
2. Head competition off at the pass;
3. Give frequent verbal applause;
4. Focus on fullness, not emptiness;
5. Be deliberate in kindness.

I wish that Dr. Meeker would have emphasized the need for God's help in this chapter. It is impossible to love those who hurt us, or to be with those around whom we feel insecure or inadequate, without the help of God. Self-control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, and it is only present in our lives (in a healthy way) when we are in close, intimate fellowship with Jesus. And without self-control, comparison and competition get ugly and result in painful experiences.

"For we are not bold to class or compare ourselves with some of those who commend themselves; but when they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding...For it is not he whom commends himself that is approved, but he whom the Lord commends," (2 Corinthians 10:12,18 NASB).