Five Minute Friday: Afraid

Lisa-Jo Baker


Okay, so here's my second goal for each week -- to write for five minutes to the prompt given by Lisa-Jo Baker, at her blog:  Tales from a Gypsy Mama

The challenge is to free write to the prompt, unedited, for five minutes.

So, here I GO:

Afraid

I stand before my God and wonder what He thinks of me. I know the Bible tells me He loves me, but I feel His love through the touch of those around me. When that touch isn't loving, it is hard to not compare people to God. But they are not God, they are like me -- afraid. What would life look like if I didn't walk in so much fear? Fear of rejection, fear of comparison, fear of ruining my kids, ruining my dinner, ruining my life. What could I do each day if I approached it with wreckless abandon? If I only took with me the desire to see the face of Jesus, to please Him, to do as the Word says, to meditate on thankfulness, things that I have and things that I do not have, and how that makes me who I am. And how blessed I truly am, even though I'm afraid. Even knowing the fear is a blessing because it forces me to look at how I see things, how I feel, and what I want. It makes me not take life for granted. So what do I do with all this fear? Where do I put it? Where does it come from? I wonder if I fear the questions or the answers, and it is no wonder that I'm afraid of trying to be strong because I feel boxed in. What if I don't do IT right, whatever IT may be? What then? Do I really care what anyone else thinks, as long as I please my Lord and Savior? What do I really fear?

STOP

I'm writing for the sake of writing here; and not editing, not rearranging my words, is hard for me.

But, as Lisa-Jo says on her blog, we are fingerpainting with words. And fingerpainting is messy.

So be it.

Maybe some grand revelation will come to me in the midst of writing like this. And maybe not. Only God knows.

Would you like to participate in Five Minute Friday? If so, click the button below. And be sure to leave a kind comment for the person who posted before you, if you link with others doing this.

Five Minute Friday

Comments

  1. I love all your questions in finger painting colors for I have painted similar things in swirling motions in my head even recently. Sigh. Praying God gives us both the answers in His time and in the meantime, that He'll comfort us in our questions that draw us closer to Him. He is good. He is faithful amidst our fear. Nice to meet a new writing friend at FMF! : )

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  2. Well done. It is hard to just write but sometimes it's useful and if you'd prefer to do it in a non-public way then just don't post and instead use your drafts to work from if so inspired. That's what I've done in the past.

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  3. This is fantastic--I love how you pulled from fear in the small things ("ruining my dinner") to the huge ("ruining my life") Great post! Hopping over from FMF! Thanks for visiting my blog today!

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  4. what a neat idea!! I may look into doing this with you. I'm trying to journal more and I think something like this is inspiring. My thoughts on your "afraid" post are, "I'm glad its not just me!!!" Thank you for your transparency and candidness. Your fingerpaints help me sort out my own thoughts as I grow in Christ. :)

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