Many women feel taken for granted by their husbands. I know I have.
When we allow this line of thinking to breed in our minds, it directly affects our behavior. Then we act in a way that does not honor or respect our husband, which causes him to react negatively. And we get wounded.
Can you see the vicious cycle?
While I cannot promise a cure to keep your feelings from ever being hurt, I have a suggestion that has worked for me:
Remember that your husband is a man.
A sinner. Just like you.
So give him the same grace you would like to have.
Ruth Bell Graham (Billy Graham's wife)said this:
"It is a foolish woman who expects her husband to be to her that which only Jesus Christ Himself can be," ("It's My Turn," page 74).
When we expect our husbands to love and praise us, do we want them to have to be on their faces in intercessory prayer for the power to do it? Someone has to make the first move.
It is not my husband's job to give me my sense of self-worth and value, but when I feel taken for granted I try to pull compliments out of him to boost my feelings in those areas. The bad thing about that is those compliments don't satisfy, since I have to ask for them.
Although Proverbs 31 is a sore spot for many women, this verse is key in getting some genuine kudos from our husbands:
"Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised," (Proverbs 31:30 NASB)."The effects of gravity and aging will change your appearance and abilities over the years. Getting compliments from your husband will not keep you content. You must find your worth in Jesus Christ alone.
When the feelings of neglect or lack of confidence start to creep in, check yourself. Are you hormonal? (This is a big one for this peri-menopausal woman!) Are you tired? Have you mismanaged your time or finances? Sometimes our feelings come from conviction over a lack of obedience in things we know we are supposed to be (or not to be) doing.
Most importantly, are you spending quality time in the Word, memorizing scripture to meditate upon, and pouring out your heart to God in prayer? He knows your heart even better than you do, and He knows what you need to feel fulfilled.
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