Marriage Monday: Like vs. Love

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My son was whacked in the elbow by a bat when he was playing catcher at a Little League game last night, and we ended up at a hospital getting x-rays to make sure it was not broken. It was swollen and bruised but—thankfully—not broken.

Husband was off today, and since our son is not allowed to do any sports-related activity until Thursday, I thought it would be nice to see a movie tonight as a family, on this rare activity-free evening together.

Husband said no.

Later, while I'm grilling chicken for dinner, Husband announces that he forgot about his club meeting tonight at 6:30, and promptly gathers his things and leaves.

So, I finish making dinner and the rest of us eat.  I'm sitting at my computer, and as is so typical of the perfect timing of our Sovereign God, I opened a post from a marriage blog that I am subscribed to.

Are you ready for this? The topic is "Why I Like My Husband."

Yep. And she invited us readers to comment with why we like our husbands.

I'll be honest and say my first thought was to comment with, "But, I don't like him."  Instead, I maintained self-control, and pondered the difference between liking and loving someone.

I know it is easier to love someone than it is to like them. Love is not a feeling, it is a decision. And you show it through your sacrifice and devotion to someone, even if you don't like how they act or what they do.

As Amy said in her post, you can love someone without liking them. I think that is because love is often self-serving and tied up in expectations (like us wanting the same loving treatment back).

But I think liking someone is about the good and honorable things you see in a person, independent of his or her feelings for you. It is self-less admiration of another, with no strings attached. And this can be hard, liking someone, especially in a marriage where words or actions cause wounds that go deep.

My husband and I will celebrate 15 years together on July 25th (our first date), so I'm starting now to make a list of 15 things I like about him.

I think this is a key to unlocking some serious heart stuff in my marriage. (Mostly because I don't want to do it, and my flesh usually resists that which is good for me.)

I challenge you to do the same for your husband.

Whether you have a seemingly perfect marriage or one that is on the rocks, pray and ask God to help you to see things that you like about your man. Ask God to help you to remember qualities that attracted you to your husband in the beginning, and things you discovered later that are wonderful.

I bet he will like it.

And if you care to, let me know how that goes.


  1. Great post Selena. I think we all have times when we love our husbands, but we might not "like" them. I like the list idea - I did that last year for Ronnie's birthday "42 things I like about you". (He was 42).


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