Our Pastor's sermon this past Sunday was titled: "A Battle to Fight," based on Ephesians 6:10-18, which tells us our enemy is not flesh and blood.
We know that, right? But it is easier to attack those we see, than to do war against what is unseen. Even though we are playing right into our true enemy's hands when we make this a civil war.
C.S. Lewis said,
"Enemy occupied territory . . . that is what this world is."
And our enemy wants to destroy us. One of the biggest ways he does that is by making us feel threatened by others.
Yesterday, I spent time talking on the phone with a friend about some moms and something that bothered me about them. I kept justifying my feelings by saying that I wasn't judging them, I was just upset because of how my daughter was reacting to them. Lovely, isn't it, how we cloak our sin in righteous indignation, to make it seem more ... well, righteous?
I felt ugly after I got off the phone with my friend. Not because of anything she said, but because of my heart and how it felt after talking with her. All day, I kept pondering what I'd said.
Then this morning, I read a post by Aprille about feeling threatened by the choices and actions of others. (God is amazing in His timing.)
And so, I have a confession to make: I am jealous. Jealous of what, you may ask? Of many things, mostly created in my head when I allow my emotions to manipulate me into perceptions that are not based in reality.
Do you ever do that? Doesn't it make you crazy?
I realize that I have the same 24 hours as other moms do. When I don't get things done, it is usually because I am disorganized. And that happens because I'm tired. And sometimes I am lazy. I linger over my coffee and read a book too long in the morning. Or I go to bed late because I'm reading a blog or watching TV with my husband, so I'm too tired to get up as early as I want to. That is no one else's fault. It has nothing to do with anyone else. It has to do with me, and my choices.
I've pointed my finger at others close to me and judged their choices, while making excuses for myself—especially if I compared myself to them and felt like they were better.
That's the thing with excuses. They are just a cover for what is really going on. A diversion.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines diversion as: something that takes attention away from what is happening.
And that is what I have been trying to do, take attention away from what is happening in my life, what doesn't feel (or look) good, and point to someone (or something else) as the reason I am the way I am.
What about you? Have you been (or are you) in a place where you feel that everyone else does it (whatever "it" may be) better than you? Do you justify your feelings about that by comparing yourself and making excuses? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
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