Today is Friday, the day when we freely write for five minutes without worrying about how it is, we just pour out our feelings for five minutes. No worries, no judging, no critiquing. (Inner editors, shush!)
If this sounds fun, click here for more info.
Today's prompt is:
When Adam and Eve sinned in the garden, they felt shame and they hid.That is what we do when we feel shame. We feel bad, and we spend our lives trying to hide.
Sometimes we hide out in the open, covering ourselves with busyness, trying to look inconspicuous so no one will suspect what is really inside of us.
I have always felt like I'm "bad" or "wrong" and my main concern was to do things right. And not just right, but the way God would want it, the "biblical way."
But I have realized, as I wrote earlier, that I've been blinded to who God is because I haven't been trying to follow truth, or get at truth, or to be right according to scripture. I thought I was. But what I was really doing was trying to achieve this idealized standard of what God wants from me.
I've never really stopped to think about what I was aiming for, I just kept struggling toward some undefined (in my mind) sense of "right," some vague concept of what I felt God expected of me--all the while never, ever feeling like I was even "okay," let alone "good enough."
That is what happens when we strive to hide our hearts from others while we try to appropriate God's love and grace for us. We can't do it, and we end up miserable.
Because we can't hide from Him. He always comes looking for us, pulling us out of the darkness or the busyness. Because we don't have to work, or perform, for God to love us. His love covers everything, even the reasons we hide.
Linking with others:
If this sounds fun, click here for more info.
Today's prompt is:
When Adam and Eve sinned in the garden, they felt shame and they hid.That is what we do when we feel shame. We feel bad, and we spend our lives trying to hide.
Sometimes we hide out in the open, covering ourselves with busyness, trying to look inconspicuous so no one will suspect what is really inside of us.
I have always felt like I'm "bad" or "wrong" and my main concern was to do things right. And not just right, but the way God would want it, the "biblical way."
But I have realized, as I wrote earlier, that I've been blinded to who God is because I haven't been trying to follow truth, or get at truth, or to be right according to scripture. I thought I was. But what I was really doing was trying to achieve this idealized standard of what God wants from me.
I've never really stopped to think about what I was aiming for, I just kept struggling toward some undefined (in my mind) sense of "right," some vague concept of what I felt God expected of me--all the while never, ever feeling like I was even "okay," let alone "good enough."
That is what happens when we strive to hide our hearts from others while we try to appropriate God's love and grace for us. We can't do it, and we end up miserable.
Because we can't hide from Him. He always comes looking for us, pulling us out of the darkness or the busyness. Because we don't have to work, or perform, for God to love us. His love covers everything, even the reasons we hide.
Linking with others:
Yes, it's so hard to live well when we are hiding away our true selves. Thanks for sharing these encouraging words! Stopping by from #fmf
ReplyDeleteYes, when we hide we never really have true connections because we always doubt what someone feels for us, since they don't know the "real" us. That is what God is ever so gently teaching me.
DeleteThanks for visiting!
I so loved that last paragraph! We don't have to work or perform for God to love us. YES YES YES!
ReplyDeleteSyndal, that is the heart of what I'm working through right now, that what I do isn't the rule by which God measures His love for me. I know it in my head, but I think I'm finally starting to get it in my heart.
DeleteThanks for stopping by!
Thanks for sharing your heart. I totally get it! I have many times "hid" myself from others out of fear. And there have been times I have hid myself from God too.
ReplyDeleteI much prefer though... not living like that.
I am not and will never be "perfect" but I will always do my best to live in a close walk with my Savior.
Yes, I agree, Amy, living in hiding is definitely not fulfilling! Thankfully, God sees us as we are and yet always loves us perfectly through His amazing grace. I am starting to realize how true that is.
DeleteThanks for your comment. :)